That first day back to work after giving birth is TERRIBLE. I don’t know about any other moms but for me it was terrible. After being with my baby for 8 weeks and getting to know her and bonding and loving her cute little self, I could not imagine leaving her. But unfortunately, my short term disability ended and I had to go back to work early because mama had to pay the bills. So I did not have a choice in the matter.
The minute I got in the car and drove away from her grandmother’s house, I missed her. When I got to work, I was bored out of my mind. I couldn’t help but think about what she was doing and if she was okay. I didn’t want to be that mom that just texted every hour for an update so I waited until it was my lunch break to see what she was doing. The fact that I worked an hour and fifteen minutes away from her was just even more torture. I kept thinking well what if something happens and I can’t get to her in time. Or what if she needs me to pick her up and I can’t leave and things like that. I don’t know. My mind was a wreck.
I still don’t know how I do it today. Being so far away from her. I feel like I’ve missed a bunch of her milestones because I was not the first person to see them. You know how you think you saw your child do something for the first time and you tell her dad or her grandmother what she did and they say “I know, she did that the other day”. I swear every time I would say that, my heart would drop a little bit and I’d get upset because I’m just like I’m missing all of the little “awww” moments in her life.
Working full time and being a mommy full time is hard. But as long as you get past the 1st day back to work without going batshit crazy then you will be fine. I did it. So can you.